that rotten kid started it

I blame this blog all on that rotten seven year old. He had the face of a cafe au lait angel and the mouth of the devil. It was the last day of weeks shooting on location, and I was exhausted. He rolled around in the grass near where I had my wardrobe racks parked and laughed. I thought he was delightful, until he looked up at me and asked, 'how old are you? 81?' The gasp of horror nearly choked me. I replied, 'actually, I'm 92.' 'Well,' he said, 'how come you have young hair?' 

Little shit. If clipping a kid upside the head was legal, he would have copped a good one. Unfortunately there were others in earshot. A swift kick up his bum was not on the agenda. 'Oh,' his silly mother giggled when I told her, 'he has no edit button'. Really. Really? How about teaching your rotten shit of a kid some manners? 

Well, that sort of threw me into a tailspin. Okay, I'm now what's called middle aged. Fuck, I hate that term. It instantly brings to mind pictures of fat guts, greying hair and elastic waisted slacks. I'm also am very aware that these days I'm one of the oldest on a film set. Hate to admit that too. But 81? Cripes. Is that how others see me? 

Suddenly, I did feel 92. I wanted to do a Gunther Sachs. Poor Gunther. The original billionaire jet-set playboy who famously married Brigitte Bardot. He took fashion photos for a hobby. I modeled for him once on the island of Ibiza. That's another story. He put a bullet through his head the other day at the age of 79. Didn't want to get any older. Can't say I blame him. 

When you think about it, there is a plus to carking it young. Take Marilyn. She would be 85 this year. Would we still think the same of her if we saw her all wrinkled and stooped? Same as James Dean. And the gorgeous Heath Ledger. Young forever. No wonder Brigitte Bardot became a recluse. 

I reckon I look pretty good for my age. As do my friends. I still hang out with many of my old modeling pals. Somehow we've all ended up here in Los Angeles. And we still love a good party. What is life for if you can't have a cocky and a giggle? 

The Dilemma is what to do regarding fighting these encroaching lines, the sagging skin and the cellulite? I don't want to end up with a tragic, overfilled, duck lipped, expressionless face, like a few people I know. It's so not cool. And hello peeps, you're fooling yourselves if you think you look younger. You just look like an old person trying too hard. It's pathetic. 

So, I'm on a mission to find the best anti aging skin care products and procedures without spending a fortune. I had collagen once on the sides of my mouth. I looked like a monkey. Thank God it wore off in three weeks. 

I actually think the best way to stay young is to have fun. And so I intend to do exactly that. 

Wish me luck!